Thursday, March 29, 2007
The day before yesterday...
I really felt my power returning. That day, all I did was train. And I felt powerful again. And it was good.
The next day (technically yesterday), I decided to do more. I ran, and sprinted at the end. Now my thighs are sore. And it is good.
This time, I won't become complacent at my peak. I'll go beyond it.
Only question is... what happens then?
The next day (technically yesterday), I decided to do more. I ran, and sprinted at the end. Now my thighs are sore. And it is good.
This time, I won't become complacent at my peak. I'll go beyond it.
Only question is... what happens then?
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
So, I have closed the book...
on love.
Katherine said I always say that, but I don't know if I could be any more serious. James Bond is a frikkin' ideal. THE ideal. A man who gets shit done... no one and nothing stopping him. Women are the casualties, but hey it's ok. I've been a pro at the game before, just need to ease back into it... "Bike riding" anyone?
The goals I need to achieve, added to my recent findings (Love is not an emotion; 'tis a brain function), and the ideal that I aspire to being... It all becomes clear. The cravings still hit kinda hard sometimes, but that's just weakness.
However, I do find myself checking up on someone more than I should, and no I'm not talking about the leech (the last one). And speakin' of the leech, I should thank her for reminding me of who I am, what I am, and what I was meant to do.
Katherine said I always say that, but I don't know if I could be any more serious. James Bond is a frikkin' ideal. THE ideal. A man who gets shit done... no one and nothing stopping him. Women are the casualties, but hey it's ok. I've been a pro at the game before, just need to ease back into it... "Bike riding" anyone?
The goals I need to achieve, added to my recent findings (Love is not an emotion; 'tis a brain function), and the ideal that I aspire to being... It all becomes clear. The cravings still hit kinda hard sometimes, but that's just weakness.
However, I do find myself checking up on someone more than I should, and no I'm not talking about the leech (the last one). And speakin' of the leech, I should thank her for reminding me of who I am, what I am, and what I was meant to do.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
"I'mma play you better than you played you."
- Will Smith to Muhammad Ali, during the filming of Ali. Heheheh, that elicited a laugh.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Study shows why exercise boosts brainpower
• Exercise builds new brain cells in a region linked with memory and memory loss
• Mice grew new cells in area known to be affected in age-related memory decline
• MRIs showed similar cell growth in human brains after exercise
Exercise boosts brainpower by building new brain cells in a brain region linked with memory and memory loss, U.S. researchers reported Monday.
Tests on mice showed they grew new brain cells in a brain region called the dentate gyrus, a part of the hippocampus that is known to be affected in the age-related memory decline that begins around age 30 for most humans.
The researchers used magnetic resonance imaging scans to help document the process in mice -- and then used MRIs to look at the brains of people before and after exercise.
They found the same patterns, which suggests that people also grow new brain cells when they exercise.
"No previous research has systematically examined the different regions of the hippocampus and identified which region is most affected by exercise," Dr. Scott Small, a neurologist at Columbia University Medical Center in New York who led the study, said in a statement.
Writing in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the researchers said they first tested mice.
Brain expert Fred Gage, of the Salk Institute in La Jolla, California, had shown that exercise can cause the development of new brain cells in the mouse equivalent of the dentate gyrus.
The teams worked together to find a way to measure this using MRI, by tracking cerebral blood volume.
"Once these findings were established in mice, we were interested in determining how exercise affects the hippocampal cerebral blood volume maps of humans," they wrote.
They of course could not dissect the brains of people to see if new neurons grew, but they could use MRI to have a peek.
They recruited 11 healthy adults and made them undergo a three-month aerobic exercise regimen.
They did MRIs of their brains before and after. They also measured the fitness of each volunteer by measuring oxygen volume before and after the training program.
Exercise generated blood flow to the dentate gyrus of the people, and the more fit a person got, the more blood flow the MRI detected, the researchers found.
"The remarkable similarities between the exercise-induced cerebral blood volume changes in the hippocampal formation of mice and humans suggest that the effect is mediated by similar mechanisms," they wrote.
"Our next step is to identify the exercise regimen that is most beneficial to improve cognition and reduce normal memory loss, so that physicians may be able to prescribe specific types of exercise to improve memory," Small said.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
300
No other movie should win next year for cinematography, art direction, special effects, and makeup.
Gerard Butler may be deserving of an Oscar nod.
David Wenham, who played Dilios, may be deserving of a supporting Oscar.
Gerard Butler may be deserving of an Oscar nod.
David Wenham, who played Dilios, may be deserving of a supporting Oscar.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
RANDY COUTURE!
You are one of my heroes!
Regained the UFC Heavyweight Title, outclassing and plain just pwning that shitty cheese 'champ' Tim Silvia!
Regained the UFC Heavyweight Title, outclassing and plain just pwning that shitty cheese 'champ' Tim Silvia!
Thursday, March 01, 2007
I'm not falling in love again.
From CNN.com...
Close your eyes for a minute and envision all the romantic parts of the human body.
Her beautiful eyes. His strong shoulders. We'll stop there, but you go right ahead and think about all the body parts you want.
Bet you didn't think about the caudate and the ventral tegmental areas, did you?
These areas of the brain, while little known to most people, are helping scientists explain the physiological reasons behind why we feel what we feel when we fall in love.
By studying MRI brain scans of people newly in love, scientists are learning a lot about the science of love: Why love is so powerful, and why being rejected is so horribly painful.
In a group of experiments, Dr. Lucy Brown, a professor in the department of neurology and neuroscience at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, and her colleagues did MRI brain scans on college students who were in the throes of new love.
While being scanned, the students looked at a photo of their beloved. The scientists found that the caudate area of the brain -- which is involved in cravings -- became very active. Another area that lit up: the ventral tegmental, which produces dopamine, a powerful neurotransmitter that affects pleasure and motivation.
Dr. Brown said scientists believe that when you fall in love, the ventral tegmental floods the caudate with dopamine. The caudate then sends signals for more dopamine.
"The more dopamine you get, the more of a high you feel," Dr. Brown says.
Or as her colleague, Dr. Helen Fisher put it: When you fall in love, "exactly the same system becomes active as when you take cocaine. You can feel intense elation when you're in love. You can feel intense elation when you're high on cocaine."
Is it love -- or sex?
Scientists then wondered: Does a brain in love look much like a sexually stimulated brain? After all, we associate love and sex and sometimes confuse them.
The answer is: Brains in love and brains in lust don't look too much alike.
In studies when researchers showed erotic photos to people as they underwent brain scans, they found activity in the hypothalamus and amygdala areas of the brain. The hypothalamus controls drives like hunger and thirst and the amygdala handles arousal, among other things.
In the studies of people in love, "we didn't find activity in either," according to Dr. Fisher, an anthropologist and author of "Why We Love -- the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love."
"We now have physiological data that suggests there are different brain systems for sex and love," says Dr. Fisher.
At some point, the two do become linked. People in love have elevated levels of dopamine. Lots of dopamine, in turn, triggers the production of testosterone, which is responsible for the sex drive in both men and women.
This helps explain why falling in love can make someone all of a sudden seem sexy.
"Three weeks ago he was just another nice guy in the office and now everything about him is sexual," says Dr. Fisher.
All this research into sex and love got the researchers thinking: Most other mammals don't have this drive for romantic love and attachment. Why do humans have it? After all, we could easily propagate the species just with our sexual urges.
Dr. Fisher thinks it has a lot to do with how difficult it once was to raise children.
"Go back millions of years to the grasslands of Africa. A woman was carrying the equivalent of a 20-pound bowling ball in one arm, and sticks and rocks in another arm to protect herself in this dangerous environment. She needed a partner to help her. She couldn't do it alone," Dr. Fisher says.
And even today, when we have strollers and the environment isn't quite as dangerous, having a mate still helps. "There are women who raise a baby by themselves, but it's a lot harder," she says.
Male brain - female brain
In their work with the lovestruck, the scientists found brain differences between men and women.
"The men had quite a bit more activity in the brain region that integrates visual stimuli. This isn't surprising considering that men support the porn industry and women spend their lives trying to look good for men," says Dr. Fisher.
But she adds there's probably a more anthropological reason at work. Simply put: A man's evolutionary mission is to spread his seed. That won't work if he mates with an 80-year-old grandmother.
"Men have to be able to size up a woman visually to see if she can bear babies," says Dr. Fisher.
The women's brain activities were a bit more puzzling.
The scientists found that women in love had more activity than men in the areas of the brain that govern memories. Dr. Fisher theorizes that this is a "female mechanism for mate choice." There are no visual clues for whether a man is fertile, but if a woman really studies a man and remembers things about his behavior, she can try to determine whether he'd make a reliable mate and father.
Thus, if it sometimes seems like a woman remembers everything -- good and bad -- about a man, "it's not just her being picky. It's an old Darwinian evolutionary strategy."
What's love got to do with it?
In the end, Drs. Fisher and Brown say what they learned from lovers' brains is that romantic love isn't really an emotion -- it's a drive that's based deep within our brains, right alongside our urges to find food and water.
"This helps explain why we do crazy things for love," says Dr. Brown. "Why did Edward VIII give up the throne for Wallis Simpson? The systems that are built into us to find food and water are the things that were also active when he renounced the throne of England."
Now their research is centered on the flip side of love. They've recruited college students who'd just been rejected by their sweethearts. Again, the scientists performed MRI's while these students looked at photos of the objects of their affection.
This time, the results were different, Dr. Brown says. The insular cortex, the part of the brain that experiences physical pain, became very active.
"People came out of the machine crying," she said. "We won't be doing that experiment again for a long time."
Why would I take part in this, KNOWING the effect?
I'm not falling in love again.
Close your eyes for a minute and envision all the romantic parts of the human body.
Her beautiful eyes. His strong shoulders. We'll stop there, but you go right ahead and think about all the body parts you want.
Bet you didn't think about the caudate and the ventral tegmental areas, did you?
These areas of the brain, while little known to most people, are helping scientists explain the physiological reasons behind why we feel what we feel when we fall in love.
By studying MRI brain scans of people newly in love, scientists are learning a lot about the science of love: Why love is so powerful, and why being rejected is so horribly painful.
In a group of experiments, Dr. Lucy Brown, a professor in the department of neurology and neuroscience at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, and her colleagues did MRI brain scans on college students who were in the throes of new love.
While being scanned, the students looked at a photo of their beloved. The scientists found that the caudate area of the brain -- which is involved in cravings -- became very active. Another area that lit up: the ventral tegmental, which produces dopamine, a powerful neurotransmitter that affects pleasure and motivation.
Dr. Brown said scientists believe that when you fall in love, the ventral tegmental floods the caudate with dopamine. The caudate then sends signals for more dopamine.
"The more dopamine you get, the more of a high you feel," Dr. Brown says.
Or as her colleague, Dr. Helen Fisher put it: When you fall in love, "exactly the same system becomes active as when you take cocaine. You can feel intense elation when you're in love. You can feel intense elation when you're high on cocaine."
Is it love -- or sex?
Scientists then wondered: Does a brain in love look much like a sexually stimulated brain? After all, we associate love and sex and sometimes confuse them.
The answer is: Brains in love and brains in lust don't look too much alike.
In studies when researchers showed erotic photos to people as they underwent brain scans, they found activity in the hypothalamus and amygdala areas of the brain. The hypothalamus controls drives like hunger and thirst and the amygdala handles arousal, among other things.
In the studies of people in love, "we didn't find activity in either," according to Dr. Fisher, an anthropologist and author of "Why We Love -- the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love."
"We now have physiological data that suggests there are different brain systems for sex and love," says Dr. Fisher.
At some point, the two do become linked. People in love have elevated levels of dopamine. Lots of dopamine, in turn, triggers the production of testosterone, which is responsible for the sex drive in both men and women.
This helps explain why falling in love can make someone all of a sudden seem sexy.
"Three weeks ago he was just another nice guy in the office and now everything about him is sexual," says Dr. Fisher.
All this research into sex and love got the researchers thinking: Most other mammals don't have this drive for romantic love and attachment. Why do humans have it? After all, we could easily propagate the species just with our sexual urges.
Dr. Fisher thinks it has a lot to do with how difficult it once was to raise children.
"Go back millions of years to the grasslands of Africa. A woman was carrying the equivalent of a 20-pound bowling ball in one arm, and sticks and rocks in another arm to protect herself in this dangerous environment. She needed a partner to help her. She couldn't do it alone," Dr. Fisher says.
And even today, when we have strollers and the environment isn't quite as dangerous, having a mate still helps. "There are women who raise a baby by themselves, but it's a lot harder," she says.
Male brain - female brain
In their work with the lovestruck, the scientists found brain differences between men and women.
"The men had quite a bit more activity in the brain region that integrates visual stimuli. This isn't surprising considering that men support the porn industry and women spend their lives trying to look good for men," says Dr. Fisher.
But she adds there's probably a more anthropological reason at work. Simply put: A man's evolutionary mission is to spread his seed. That won't work if he mates with an 80-year-old grandmother.
"Men have to be able to size up a woman visually to see if she can bear babies," says Dr. Fisher.
The women's brain activities were a bit more puzzling.
The scientists found that women in love had more activity than men in the areas of the brain that govern memories. Dr. Fisher theorizes that this is a "female mechanism for mate choice." There are no visual clues for whether a man is fertile, but if a woman really studies a man and remembers things about his behavior, she can try to determine whether he'd make a reliable mate and father.
Thus, if it sometimes seems like a woman remembers everything -- good and bad -- about a man, "it's not just her being picky. It's an old Darwinian evolutionary strategy."
What's love got to do with it?
In the end, Drs. Fisher and Brown say what they learned from lovers' brains is that romantic love isn't really an emotion -- it's a drive that's based deep within our brains, right alongside our urges to find food and water.
"This helps explain why we do crazy things for love," says Dr. Brown. "Why did Edward VIII give up the throne for Wallis Simpson? The systems that are built into us to find food and water are the things that were also active when he renounced the throne of England."
Now their research is centered on the flip side of love. They've recruited college students who'd just been rejected by their sweethearts. Again, the scientists performed MRI's while these students looked at photos of the objects of their affection.
This time, the results were different, Dr. Brown says. The insular cortex, the part of the brain that experiences physical pain, became very active.
"People came out of the machine crying," she said. "We won't be doing that experiment again for a long time."
Why would I take part in this, KNOWING the effect?
I'm not falling in love again.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
This Korean guy was on "Deal or No Deal" and unless this is all just a big publicity stunt, karma is REAL.
The guy's family came to the US with only 750 bucks and raised a family to success. Final numbers were $75, $750, and $750,000. The offer made to him was $211,000. The case he chose was case #8. Anyway, at the end of all that, he had 3 cases, and was debating on to choose to take the deal or to go on further. He wisely took the deal, and they looked at the case he WOULD have chosen to eliminate, which ended up having the $750,000.
Walked away with $211,000.
The case he had chosen, was #8, and had $750 in it. His parents were in attendence and they broke down crying. Everything had come full circle.
Wow. Just wow.
The guy's family came to the US with only 750 bucks and raised a family to success. Final numbers were $75, $750, and $750,000. The offer made to him was $211,000. The case he chose was case #8. Anyway, at the end of all that, he had 3 cases, and was debating on to choose to take the deal or to go on further. He wisely took the deal, and they looked at the case he WOULD have chosen to eliminate, which ended up having the $750,000.
Walked away with $211,000.
The case he had chosen, was #8, and had $750 in it. His parents were in attendence and they broke down crying. Everything had come full circle.
Wow. Just wow.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
I'm in detox...
I read the article on CNN, on how being in love can be likened to taking cocaine.
Detox is tough!
Detox is tough!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
So, I was checkin' out my body this morning, and... for someone who doesn't work out or train like he used to, I look damn good! Wonder how much better I'd look with a decent amount of work...
Speakin' of work, the load is going to be insane next week. Try to get a head start tonight and this weekend.
I make no claims, but...
Anna Nicole Smith died today, not long after me making fun of her. :(
God forgive me please.
Completely unrelated, I have a good feeling about upcoming things having to do with women :-P
Speakin' of work, the load is going to be insane next week. Try to get a head start tonight and this weekend.
I make no claims, but...
Anna Nicole Smith died today, not long after me making fun of her. :(
God forgive me please.
Completely unrelated, I have a good feeling about upcoming things having to do with women :-P
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
I said my final goodbyes...
to her.
Goodbye.
And Anna Nicole Smith looks like a the poster child for Botox bitches. Hahaha!
Goodbye.
And Anna Nicole Smith looks like a the poster child for Botox bitches. Hahaha!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
The Touch
You got the touch
You got the power
After all is said and done
You've never walked, you've never run,
You're a winner
You got the moves, you know the streets
Break the rules, take the heat
You're nobody's fool
You're at your best when when the goin' gets rough
You've been put to the test, but it's never enough
You got the touch
You got the power
When all hell's breakin' loose
You'll be riding the eye of the storm
You got the heart
You got the motion
You know that when things get too tough
You got the touch
You never bend, you never break
You seem to know just what it takes
You're a fighter
It's in the blood, it's in the will
It's in the mighty hands of steel
When you're standin' your ground
And you never get hit when your back's to the wall
Gonna fight to the end and you're takin' it all
You got the touch
You got the power
When all hell's breakin' loose
You'll be riding the eye of the storm
You got the heart
You got the motion
You know that when things get too tough
You got the touch
You're fightin' fire with fire
You know you got the touch
You're at your best when when the road gets rough
You've been put to the test, but it's never enough
You got the touch
You got the power
You got the touch
You got the power
You got the power
After all is said and done
You've never walked, you've never run,
You're a winner
You got the moves, you know the streets
Break the rules, take the heat
You're nobody's fool
You're at your best when when the goin' gets rough
You've been put to the test, but it's never enough
You got the touch
You got the power
When all hell's breakin' loose
You'll be riding the eye of the storm
You got the heart
You got the motion
You know that when things get too tough
You got the touch
You never bend, you never break
You seem to know just what it takes
You're a fighter
It's in the blood, it's in the will
It's in the mighty hands of steel
When you're standin' your ground
And you never get hit when your back's to the wall
Gonna fight to the end and you're takin' it all
You got the touch
You got the power
When all hell's breakin' loose
You'll be riding the eye of the storm
You got the heart
You got the motion
You know that when things get too tough
You got the touch
You're fightin' fire with fire
You know you got the touch
You're at your best when when the road gets rough
You've been put to the test, but it's never enough
You got the touch
You got the power
You got the touch
You got the power
Sunday, January 28, 2007
I'm flying again. It's a little hard sometimes, but I'm doing ok. Seeing things get back to 'normal' is good. Wow I feel weird bloggin'. Used to be that I could just type whatever here, but today, I looked here and just thought about how empty it's honestly been here. I promise nothing, but I hope for more meaning in the posts to come.
Not quite at the point where I can look back and see that things were being set up for even better things, but I'd sure like to get there :)
But yes, my family and friends, 's for real...
Superman's back.
Not quite at the point where I can look back and see that things were being set up for even better things, but I'd sure like to get there :)
But yes, my family and friends, 's for real...
Superman's back.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Training
Friday:
1 lap around the house
light stretch
120 punch warmup
10 on each side of 3 different stretch kicks
2 X 3 min on the mitt punching, outboxer style
3 X 30 sec flutter kick (suuuuuuuuck)
Saturday:
Brief run
Stretch kick and punch
Went over TKD and anti-TKD strategies
1 lap around the house
light stretch
120 punch warmup
10 on each side of 3 different stretch kicks
2 X 3 min on the mitt punching, outboxer style
3 X 30 sec flutter kick (suuuuuuuuck)
Saturday:
Brief run
Stretch kick and punch
Went over TKD and anti-TKD strategies
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
TV vs Radio programs
It occurred to me that I listen to the TV as much as I watch it. I'll often multitask instead of spending 100% attention on the boob tube. I'll listen to what's being said while doing my pushups and stuff.
I guess if they had radio transcripts of shows, I might actually be inclined to tune in and listen. Maybe soap operas are best that way.
I guess if they had radio transcripts of shows, I might actually be inclined to tune in and listen. Maybe soap operas are best that way.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I realized...
... that if I get to know a girl, and fall in love with her, then it's going to be real love. And if it comes to that, she will never have to worry about me loving her above every other. She'll never have to worry about being loved ever again. My track record is bruised, but when I have loved, it was real, and it wasn't me making the choice to part.
Smile my friends, Superman's back.
Smile my friends, Superman's back.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Rocky Balboa:
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I see light...
It's just a crack, but light, nonetheless. Waiting for the Big Guy to pull the clouds apart as easily as I do with drapes. Smile.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
"Clark, don't...
You blame yourself for Captain Marvel... for Magog and Kansas... for ten years that ended today.
Yes, you're angry. But in that anger, you're forgetting once more what humans feel.
What they fear.
They won't forgive you for this, Clark.
Forgive yourself.
Listen to me, Clark. Of all the things you can do... all your powers... the greatest has always been your instinctive knowledge of right... and wrong.
It was a gift of your own humanity. You never had to question your choices. In any situation... any crisis... you knew what to do.
But the minute you made the super more important than the man... the day you decided to turn your back on mankind... That completely cost you your instinct.
That took your judgment away.
Take it back.
If you want redemption, Clark... it lies in the very next decision you make.
Make it as a man... and make it right."
Yes, you're angry. But in that anger, you're forgetting once more what humans feel.
What they fear.
They won't forgive you for this, Clark.
Forgive yourself.
Listen to me, Clark. Of all the things you can do... all your powers... the greatest has always been your instinctive knowledge of right... and wrong.
It was a gift of your own humanity. You never had to question your choices. In any situation... any crisis... you knew what to do.
But the minute you made the super more important than the man... the day you decided to turn your back on mankind... That completely cost you your instinct.
That took your judgment away.
Take it back.
If you want redemption, Clark... it lies in the very next decision you make.
Make it as a man... and make it right."
Rocky
If you didn't know, Sylvester Stallone was nominated for Best Actor in this film. He was likened to Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro. Wow!
Had he never done the sequels, nor ever starred in the hideous Rambo films, he might have had a much more illustrious acting career.
But then, wonder... would Rocky be as much of an American icon? Beating down the Muhammad Ali-esque Apollo Creed, the George Foreman-esque Clubber Lang, the Goliath in Ivan Drago... Would Rocky have endured?
But yeah, I don't give a shit about Rambo.
But the underdog, Rocky Balboa... that's always something to believe in.
Had he never done the sequels, nor ever starred in the hideous Rambo films, he might have had a much more illustrious acting career.
But then, wonder... would Rocky be as much of an American icon? Beating down the Muhammad Ali-esque Apollo Creed, the George Foreman-esque Clubber Lang, the Goliath in Ivan Drago... Would Rocky have endured?
But yeah, I don't give a shit about Rambo.
But the underdog, Rocky Balboa... that's always something to believe in.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Gears of War
is so awesome. Rock on Jack, Nee-L...
On another subject, sometimes I feel free, and other days I still want to hang on. Where's the next one?
On another subject, sometimes I feel free, and other days I still want to hang on. Where's the next one?
Friday, December 29, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Funny:
So my dad bought a used copy of The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald, for my sister. The book is in pretty damn good condition.
Except today, she noticed that on the very first page...
is a large drawing of a penis with hairy balls. LOL!
Except today, she noticed that on the very first page...
is a large drawing of a penis with hairy balls. LOL!
Monday, December 25, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess...
... is largely a beautiful, wonderful game.
It just has a shitty, non-customizable camera, some shitty shitty shitty (think N64) textures, and STILL synthesized (but well crafted) music.
9/10
It just has a shitty, non-customizable camera, some shitty shitty shitty (think N64) textures, and STILL synthesized (but well crafted) music.
9/10
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
My fight is neverending...
I must face it and remember that, every day, I have to fight on...
Should I forget it or turn my back on it, I might as well just die.
Should I forget it or turn my back on it, I might as well just die.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Bruce Lee
Jann Lee
Muhammad Ali
Superman
Batman
Spider-Man
Makunouchi Ippo
Takamura Mamoru
Kimura Tatsuya
James Bond
Squall Leonhart
Cloud Strife
Sephiroth
Lex Luthor
Don Vito Corleone
Don Michael Corleone
Mashiba Ryo
Ryu
Gouki/Akuma
Fei Long
Heero Yuy
Forest Law
Marshall Law
Ryu Hayabusa
Jin Kazama
Kazuya Mishima
Solid Snake
Big Boss
Son Goku
Son Gohan
Dante
Daredevil
Himura Kenshin
Shinomori Aoshi
Saito Hajime
Rudy Ruettiger
Jason Bourne
Daniel Caffey
Mas Oyama
Hotsuma
Ein
Hayate
The Punisher
Samurai Jack
Tony Jaa
John Clark
Jack Ryan
Doug Ross
Mark Greene
Luka Kovac
Randy Couture
The Count of Monte Cristo
Anderson Silva
Alfredo Quiñones-Hinojosa - Illegal immigrant, now brain surgeon
Ip Man - (Donnie Yen portrayal)
Leroy Jethro Gibbs
Jann Lee
Muhammad Ali
Superman
Batman
Spider-Man
Makunouchi Ippo
Takamura Mamoru
Kimura Tatsuya
James Bond
Squall Leonhart
Cloud Strife
Sephiroth
Lex Luthor
Don Vito Corleone
Don Michael Corleone
Mashiba Ryo
Ryu
Gouki/Akuma
Fei Long
Heero Yuy
Forest Law
Marshall Law
Ryu Hayabusa
Jin Kazama
Kazuya Mishima
Solid Snake
Big Boss
Son Goku
Son Gohan
Dante
Daredevil
Himura Kenshin
Shinomori Aoshi
Saito Hajime
Rudy Ruettiger
Jason Bourne
Daniel Caffey
Mas Oyama
Hotsuma
Ein
Hayate
The Punisher
Samurai Jack
Tony Jaa
John Clark
Jack Ryan
Doug Ross
Mark Greene
Luka Kovac
Randy Couture
The Count of Monte Cristo
Anderson Silva
Alfredo Quiñones-Hinojosa - Illegal immigrant, now brain surgeon
Ip Man - (Donnie Yen portrayal)
Leroy Jethro Gibbs
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Rewiring continues...
There was a time when I would have given everything in a relationship.
But no longer, and never again.
But no longer, and never again.
I retract my previous statements...
"Supernancy" Brandon Routh was in shape and pretty ripped, aside from his stomach, but the suit made him look small. Maybe it was really tight and restrictive. They should definitely work his lats and his stomach for the sequel though.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Need to extend my wings
They've been cramped in a bit. Gotta fly.
Or if I'm Superman.. get my cape out.
Or if I'm Superman.. get my cape out.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Lumines wisdom...
Lumines is the greatest puzzle game of all time. And during my playing marathon I came across some wisdom for life: simplify.
Simplify your life.
Keep shit simple. When you make things too complicated, it gets messy and it's hard to simplify from then on.
Just like the gameplay. However, when eliminating things or accomplishing tasks, do as much as you can at once (a la playing in combinations in the game).
Ha!
On another note, let's see how things go tomorrow.
Simplify your life.
Keep shit simple. When you make things too complicated, it gets messy and it's hard to simplify from then on.
Just like the gameplay. However, when eliminating things or accomplishing tasks, do as much as you can at once (a la playing in combinations in the game).
Ha!
On another note, let's see how things go tomorrow.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
We are who we choose to be.
I know what I need to do. Brothers, sisters, friends, forgive me if I become a little colder to you all. It means nothing, except that I'm reworking who I am, and am working hard. I still love you all. Bear with me, and believe in me, for the person who reemerges shall be more powerful than he ever was... More powerful than what you knew him to be.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
I think a lot now...
I came to 'something profound.' ;-)
The key to dealing with karma is sailing with it when it suits you, and jumping ship when it doesn't.
The key to dealing with karma is sailing with it when it suits you, and jumping ship when it doesn't.
++
I know I'm going to be happy again, but it's just a little tough now. Always darkest before dawn and I DO think things are brightening, albeit very slowly.
At least Alex is comin' back in a week.
At least Alex is comin' back in a week.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Positive things...
Aight Shakka,
I had a light text convo with Jess yesterday, she still injecting some of her wit into them. I'll be getting two A's and a B this quarter, an improvement. After next Thursday, school's done for a lil bit. Yay.
I've learned some things and am coping. Let's be positive. Things will be ok and better than before. Shaun, I want you to teach me more in the MA. Seems like I am capable of a lot and a lot more.
Mo's getting with Andy and really likes him. :)
Rock's finding something with this gal, Nicole. :)
Shaun 'n' Sasha has a nice ring to it. :)
Hit me too! :)
Please!
I had a light text convo with Jess yesterday, she still injecting some of her wit into them. I'll be getting two A's and a B this quarter, an improvement. After next Thursday, school's done for a lil bit. Yay.
I've learned some things and am coping. Let's be positive. Things will be ok and better than before. Shaun, I want you to teach me more in the MA. Seems like I am capable of a lot and a lot more.
Mo's getting with Andy and really likes him. :)
Rock's finding something with this gal, Nicole. :)
Shaun 'n' Sasha has a nice ring to it. :)
Hit me too! :)
Please!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
The last fews days have been beautiful, and I've been taking notice. Since she and I are now forever apart, I've for some reason been taking solace in the days' beauty. Why are the days so beautiful now that she's gone? Why couldn't I have enjoyed them WITH her? *sigh* It's because I love her that I'm staying out of her life. I have to be stronger again. Karma comin' to bite me in the ass and God probably teaching me a lesson. Take care of me, Lord. I am weak.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
From the Dilbert creator:
"Good News Day
As regular readers of my blog know, I lost my voice about 18 months ago. Permanently. It’s something exotic called Spasmodic Dysphonia. Essentially a part of the brain that controls speech just shuts down in some people, usually after you strain your voice during a bout with allergies (in my case) or some other sort of normal laryngitis. It happens to people in my age bracket.
I asked my doctor – a specialist for this condition – how many people have ever gotten better. Answer: zero. While there’s no cure, painful Botox injections through the front of the neck and into the vocal cords can stop the spasms for a few months. That weakens the muscles that otherwise spasm, but your voice is breathy and weak.
The weirdest part of this phenomenon is that speech is processed in different parts of the brain depending on the context. So people with this problem can often sing but they can’t talk. In my case I could do my normal professional speaking to large crowds but I could barely whisper and grunt off stage. And most people with this condition report they have the most trouble talking on the telephone or when there is background noise. I can speak normally alone, but not around others. That makes it sound like a social anxiety problem, but it’s really just a different context, because I could easily sing to those same people.
I stopped getting the Botox shots because although they allowed me to talk for a few weeks, my voice was too weak for public speaking. So at least until the fall speaking season ended, I chose to maximize my onstage voice at the expense of being able to speak in person.
My family and friends have been great. They read my lips as best they can. They lean in to hear the whispers. They guess. They put up with my six tries to say one word. And my personality is completely altered. My normal wittiness becomes slow and deliberate. And often, when it takes effort to speak a word intelligibly, the wrong word comes out because too much of my focus is on the effort of talking instead of the thinking of what to say. So a lot of the things that came out of my mouth frankly made no sense.
To state the obvious, much of life’s pleasure is diminished when you can’t speak. It has been tough.
But have I mentioned I’m an optimist?
Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn’t mean I can’t be the first. So every day for months and months I tried new tricks to regain my voice. I visualized speaking correctly and repeatedly told myself I could (affirmations). I used self hypnosis. I used voice therapy exercises. I spoke in higher pitches, or changing pitches. I observed when my voice worked best and when it was worst and looked for patterns. I tried speaking in foreign accents. I tried “singing” some words that were especially hard.
My theory was that the part of my brain responsible for normal speech was still intact, but for some reason had become disconnected from the neural pathways to my vocal cords. (That’s consistent with any expert’s best guess of what’s happening with Spasmodic Dysphonia. It’s somewhat mysterious.) And so I reasoned that there was some way to remap that connection. All I needed to do was find the type of speaking or context most similar – but still different enough – from normal speech that still worked. Once I could speak in that slightly different context, I would continue to close the gap between the different-context speech and normal speech until my neural pathways remapped. Well, that was my theory. But I’m no brain surgeon.
The day before yesterday, while helping on a homework assignment, I noticed I could speak perfectly in rhyme. Rhyme was a context I hadn’t considered. A poem isn’t singing and it isn’t regular talking. But for some reason the context is just different enough from normal speech that my brain handled it fine.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.
I repeated it dozens of times, partly because I could. It was effortless, even though it was similar to regular speech. I enjoyed repeating it, hearing the sound of my own voice working almost flawlessly. I longed for that sound, and the memory of normal speech. Perhaps the rhyme took me back to my own childhood too. Or maybe it’s just plain catchy. I enjoyed repeating it more than I should have. Then something happened.
My brain remapped.
My speech returned.
Not 100%, but close, like a car starting up on a cold winter night. And so I talked that night. A lot. And all the next day. A few times I felt my voice slipping away, so I repeated the nursery rhyme and tuned it back in. By the following night my voice was almost completely normal.
When I say my brain remapped, that’s the best description I have. During the worst of my voice problems, I would know in advance that I couldn’t get a word out. It was if I could feel the lack of connection between my brain and my vocal cords. But suddenly, yesterday, I felt the connection again. It wasn’t just being able to speak, it was KNOWING how. The knowing returned.
I still don’t know if this is permanent. But I do know that for one day I got to speak normally. And this is one of the happiest days of my life.
But enough about me. Leave me a comment telling me the happiest moment of YOUR life. Keep it brief. Only good news today. I don’t want to hear anything else."
I want to remap my brain so that I don't love romantically again.
"Good News Day
As regular readers of my blog know, I lost my voice about 18 months ago. Permanently. It’s something exotic called Spasmodic Dysphonia. Essentially a part of the brain that controls speech just shuts down in some people, usually after you strain your voice during a bout with allergies (in my case) or some other sort of normal laryngitis. It happens to people in my age bracket.
I asked my doctor – a specialist for this condition – how many people have ever gotten better. Answer: zero. While there’s no cure, painful Botox injections through the front of the neck and into the vocal cords can stop the spasms for a few months. That weakens the muscles that otherwise spasm, but your voice is breathy and weak.
The weirdest part of this phenomenon is that speech is processed in different parts of the brain depending on the context. So people with this problem can often sing but they can’t talk. In my case I could do my normal professional speaking to large crowds but I could barely whisper and grunt off stage. And most people with this condition report they have the most trouble talking on the telephone or when there is background noise. I can speak normally alone, but not around others. That makes it sound like a social anxiety problem, but it’s really just a different context, because I could easily sing to those same people.
I stopped getting the Botox shots because although they allowed me to talk for a few weeks, my voice was too weak for public speaking. So at least until the fall speaking season ended, I chose to maximize my onstage voice at the expense of being able to speak in person.
My family and friends have been great. They read my lips as best they can. They lean in to hear the whispers. They guess. They put up with my six tries to say one word. And my personality is completely altered. My normal wittiness becomes slow and deliberate. And often, when it takes effort to speak a word intelligibly, the wrong word comes out because too much of my focus is on the effort of talking instead of the thinking of what to say. So a lot of the things that came out of my mouth frankly made no sense.
To state the obvious, much of life’s pleasure is diminished when you can’t speak. It has been tough.
But have I mentioned I’m an optimist?
Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn’t mean I can’t be the first. So every day for months and months I tried new tricks to regain my voice. I visualized speaking correctly and repeatedly told myself I could (affirmations). I used self hypnosis. I used voice therapy exercises. I spoke in higher pitches, or changing pitches. I observed when my voice worked best and when it was worst and looked for patterns. I tried speaking in foreign accents. I tried “singing” some words that were especially hard.
My theory was that the part of my brain responsible for normal speech was still intact, but for some reason had become disconnected from the neural pathways to my vocal cords. (That’s consistent with any expert’s best guess of what’s happening with Spasmodic Dysphonia. It’s somewhat mysterious.) And so I reasoned that there was some way to remap that connection. All I needed to do was find the type of speaking or context most similar – but still different enough – from normal speech that still worked. Once I could speak in that slightly different context, I would continue to close the gap between the different-context speech and normal speech until my neural pathways remapped. Well, that was my theory. But I’m no brain surgeon.
The day before yesterday, while helping on a homework assignment, I noticed I could speak perfectly in rhyme. Rhyme was a context I hadn’t considered. A poem isn’t singing and it isn’t regular talking. But for some reason the context is just different enough from normal speech that my brain handled it fine.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.
I repeated it dozens of times, partly because I could. It was effortless, even though it was similar to regular speech. I enjoyed repeating it, hearing the sound of my own voice working almost flawlessly. I longed for that sound, and the memory of normal speech. Perhaps the rhyme took me back to my own childhood too. Or maybe it’s just plain catchy. I enjoyed repeating it more than I should have. Then something happened.
My brain remapped.
My speech returned.
Not 100%, but close, like a car starting up on a cold winter night. And so I talked that night. A lot. And all the next day. A few times I felt my voice slipping away, so I repeated the nursery rhyme and tuned it back in. By the following night my voice was almost completely normal.
When I say my brain remapped, that’s the best description I have. During the worst of my voice problems, I would know in advance that I couldn’t get a word out. It was if I could feel the lack of connection between my brain and my vocal cords. But suddenly, yesterday, I felt the connection again. It wasn’t just being able to speak, it was KNOWING how. The knowing returned.
I still don’t know if this is permanent. But I do know that for one day I got to speak normally. And this is one of the happiest days of my life.
But enough about me. Leave me a comment telling me the happiest moment of YOUR life. Keep it brief. Only good news today. I don’t want to hear anything else."
I want to remap my brain so that I don't love romantically again.
Monday, October 09, 2006
The Dragon returns...
Every time I try to get away from it, my life always comes back to this picture...
I can't avoid it and I can't stop it...
It's the only thing that is ever so purely right.
I can't avoid it and I can't stop it...
It's the only thing that is ever so purely right.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
KOTOR II
So I played thru KOTOR II, finishing it last night (for the second time since I've had it). Too bad the game was never fully completed. The game is rife with uncompleted programming and you can clearly see it in many areas. Too bad. Fully completed, KOTOR II would have exceeded the original in every way.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
I am a poor martial artist...
I'm a good fighter, but I'm a poor martial artist. Sure I've been able to mix and match and combine what I've learned into something rather formiddable. Sure I can fight better than most black belts out there. But... Having lacked a proper formal teacher, I don't quite know the lessons on composure and TRUE INNER peace. I believe in God, too, so things should be easier for me when it comes to peace. But I still haven't learned to control my emotions...
"Enough! You dishonor your sensei with this loss of composure! Your rage is born of fear and is unbefitting in a student of the martial arts! You'll be given opportunities to prove yourself to me. Until then, boy -- PATIENCE is a virtue!"
"Enough! You dishonor your sensei with this loss of composure! Your rage is born of fear and is unbefitting in a student of the martial arts! You'll be given opportunities to prove yourself to me. Until then, boy -- PATIENCE is a virtue!"
Monday, September 25, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
"Bless the Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you...
There was a time when the best thing I had going for me was my grades. I need to focus again. I can't believe that I was taking my grades for granted and complaining that nothing else was happening. No wonder I lost my aim. Now, though it's admittedly getting easier, I'm down in the dumps about Jessica. Yes, peoples, it's over. Completely. I recall this happening before, except the object of my affection at that time was someone named Ashley. Damn it all.
God, give me focus and strength. Please. Even if it's anger that fills my soul, please God, let it go to something useful. Give me the strength You once regained for me. The same strength that David, Alisha, Neal, Jack, Rock... that they have.
Please.
God, give me focus and strength. Please. Even if it's anger that fills my soul, please God, let it go to something useful. Give me the strength You once regained for me. The same strength that David, Alisha, Neal, Jack, Rock... that they have.
Please.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
"You learn to speak by speaking, study by studying, work by working; in the same way you learn to love by loving." -Anatole France
"People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents." -Andrew Carnegie
"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars... to change the world." -Harriet Tubman
"People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents." -Andrew Carnegie
"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars... to change the world." -Harriet Tubman
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Taken from Ai-van's xanga, not that she knows it...
"Are you going through a rough patch in your life? So much that you don't even want to know how things will end because how could the end be happy? I mean how could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.. But in the the end, you must understand that it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer."
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
I look like a freaking...
... hedgehog.
Wonder how long it's going to take before my hair is as long as it was in my profile picture...
Wonder how long it's going to take before my hair is as long as it was in my profile picture...
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Friday, August 04, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
My left leg spasms...
Thought I'd finally comment on it... My left leg spasms. Today, it's the calf. The last few weeks, it's been the thigh area near the knee. It just... spasms.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Old Post...
Natalie Goldberg: "But, Roshi, it is so lonely."
Katagiri Roshi: "Is there anything wrong with loneliness?"
Natalie Goldberg: "No, I guess not."
---
Natalie Goldberg: " But, Roshi, you have sentenced me to such loneliness. Writing is very lonely."
Katagiri Roshi: "Anything you do deeply is very lonely. There are many Zen students here, but the ones that are going deep are very lonely."
Natalie Goldberg: "Are you lonely?"
Katagiri Roshi: "Of course. But I do not let it toss me away. It is just loneliness."
---
A long time ago, Alisha once commented on one of my numerous posts:
"why do you always think that you'll feel so much better after fighting someone? if you look at every entry where you're pissed off or annoyed or whatever, it always comes back to fighting someone...maybe you're looking in the wrong place for happiness..."
And she was right. When I fought Will last Friday, I do know that I did not think about Jessica at all during the combat. Didn't think about how "unhealthy" I am, didn't think of my grades, didn't think about all the problems everyone has. Nothing was on my mind but the eradication of the opponent in front of me. Video games don't do this for me! Fighting (and maybe training, if I can get back into it) is my ultimate release.
"After fighting, everything else in life gets dumbed down. You can handle anything.."
-paraphrased from Fight Club. How utterly and clearly true.
Katagiri Roshi: "Is there anything wrong with loneliness?"
Natalie Goldberg: "No, I guess not."
---
Natalie Goldberg: " But, Roshi, you have sentenced me to such loneliness. Writing is very lonely."
Katagiri Roshi: "Anything you do deeply is very lonely. There are many Zen students here, but the ones that are going deep are very lonely."
Natalie Goldberg: "Are you lonely?"
Katagiri Roshi: "Of course. But I do not let it toss me away. It is just loneliness."
---
A long time ago, Alisha once commented on one of my numerous posts:
"why do you always think that you'll feel so much better after fighting someone? if you look at every entry where you're pissed off or annoyed or whatever, it always comes back to fighting someone...maybe you're looking in the wrong place for happiness..."
And she was right. When I fought Will last Friday, I do know that I did not think about Jessica at all during the combat. Didn't think about how "unhealthy" I am, didn't think of my grades, didn't think about all the problems everyone has. Nothing was on my mind but the eradication of the opponent in front of me. Video games don't do this for me! Fighting (and maybe training, if I can get back into it) is my ultimate release.
"After fighting, everything else in life gets dumbed down. You can handle anything.."
-paraphrased from Fight Club. How utterly and clearly true.
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