Thoughts and Musings at a Randalls deli...

Sunburned/Overtanned Lady #1
"Wow, this bitch needs to stop overtanning herself. You can just smell the smoke coming offa her."

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A dialogue:

Dumb lady: "Hi, I want a #6 [sandwich]."
Me: "Ok. 6 or 12 inch?"
DL: "6."
Me: "Ok." I proceed to cut the correct bread (multigrain). As I finish cutting it through the middle...
DL: "Oh, do you have wheat?" I pause, and...
Me: "Yes, ma'am." I proceed to cut another bread.
Me: "Did you want the meal deal, ma'am?" A meal deal is a medium drink and a bag of chips for a dollar more.
DL: "Yes." She goes off to look at the soda choices. Comes back and...
DL: "What size cup?" and goes for the soup cups. I interrupt and point...
Me: "Those cups, ma'am."
DL: "Oh, right right." She goes and gets the medium cup and goes to the soda machine. She comes back and...
DL: "Which one is the Nestea?" Well, goddammit I can't see it so what am I supposed to say?
Me: "Uhmmmmm." She goes, comes back and...
DL: "Only water's coming from it."

OY! The white switch underneath the tea gives you water!!!

I leave the sandwich and walk around to show her.
Pressing the correct switch, and thus showing her how to get tea, I start towards the sandwich table again.
DL: "Which switch do you press?"

You are the dumbest fuckin' lady alive.

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Sunburned/Overtanned Lady #2
"You have the complexion of an overused ash tray."

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Sunburned/Overtanned Lady #3
"Gosh, you tanning is like bleaching a pig... completely unneeded."

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"Shut the fuck up and let me finish explaining the answers to your dumbass questions!"

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"Is that your nose or a deformed strawberry?"

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"Why do super fat people buy like 10 pounds of meat and cheese? Oh wait. . ."

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Europeans
"What the hell is a 'poond'?"

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"Take off your dumbass sunglasses. Maybe then you can READ your deli choices instead of asking me to tell you all of them."

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"Why should I cut your deli meat so goddamned thin when you so clearly are not so thin. It would seem to me that you would need to get as much as you could into one bite instead of taking pecks."